Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
