Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
