it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
