adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
