i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
