I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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