it was like his penis was on wheels.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
