wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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