I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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