wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
