I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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