On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
