did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
