Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm too high and old for this...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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