yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
