my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
