These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
