I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If its not for food we ain't going out.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
