I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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