so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
