There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
