the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let's get the cat blown out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
