Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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