ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
