I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
