we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
