Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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