100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
how drunk are you?
Several
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
