Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
