omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
