i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
