I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
