The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
