Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
