I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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