Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
