I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
