Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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