There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
handjob tips. give me some.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
