He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
