We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
