I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
