Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
