They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
