it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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