what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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