this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
