I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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