I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
