shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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