No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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