No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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