It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
